So a Liebster walks in to a bar… wait. That’s not right. Dafuq is a Liebster?

Sadly it’s not a pet lobster. But it is something magical. It appears the lovely Hugzilla has defied all odds and remembered my name now that she’s famous. Not only does she remember me, she kindly nominated me for the Liebster award. Now, if you know how much of a crush she has on me you will understand why (after dismissing my initial lobster theory) my disturbed inuendo-obsessed mind assumed ‘Liebster’ was slang for something completely different. Honestly I was quite glad to finally learn that it’s some kind of blogging thing and not another one of her advances I have to regretfully turn down.

I was planning on writing my first real blog post since climbing out from under my cat coma (stay tuned for that sure fire zinger), but I’m relieved I get to do this instead. Here goes.

1. What was your favourite subject at school?

Maths and Art. I have always enjoyed art, but when I realised that there’s only one degree of wrong and right in maths I loved it to death. Maths is no bullshit. Art is all bullshit. I’m an all-or-nothing kind of girl.

2. How easily do you wake up when your alarm goes off?

My alarm is my eldest cat giving me cardiac compression with all 8kg of his body on my chest, while my youngest cat attempts to bathe me by licking my hair. He gets about 1cm along a mouthful of strands before he realises he’s way out of his depth and starts choking, causing me to wake up and stop him from choking on my locks every single morning. You know, pretty much how everybody starts their day.

3. You could never miss a single episode of which TV show?

Curb your enthusiasm is the only show I would cancel plans for. If and when the next season comes out I will be pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty unlikely to prioritise anything else in life. Apart from that, I can’t live without weekly episodes of the bachelor which I watch via text message with my mate Vanessa. We spend the entire episode texting each other things like ‘ohhhhhh did you see that bitch’s FACE what a WHORE’ and laughing our asses off. We have no idea what any of the contestants’ names are because we’ve given them all much better nicknames instead.

Other than those I love Louie, Parks & Rec, The Office, Sex & The City, Would I Lie to You, and The Soup.

4. What’s your go-to dish when you’re asked to bring a plate?

I LOVE to bake. I love it so much I that one of my lifelong dreams (I have many) is to be a contestant on the Great Australian (or British) Bake Off. I had to slow down on the baking in the past year because my husband was my guinea pig and I didn’t want to give him diabetes. My specialty is Lemon Tart, Tiramisunami, and Chocolate Orange checkerboard cake. Nom.

5. If you could be a character from a favourite book from your childhood, who would you be?

Clifford for the win.

6. You’re exploring a scenic beachside village. Would you prefer to do it on foot or by bike?

Horse.

7. The reality TV show that you would absolutely blitz, would be what?

Bachelor. Not for the guy (I already have my dream man), but for the trolling fun I could have. I would also ace The Price Is Right. I met Larry Emdur in a lift last year and I was so starstruck I forgot to show him my Price Is Right arm movements I’ve been practising my entire life. #DeepestRegret

8. Do you prefer your Summer or Winter wardrobe?

The only difference between my summer wardrobe and my winter wardrobe is a jacket. I hate shopping. I hate it so much. If by some miracle I find a t-shirt I love I will wear it until it disintegrates. And I will probably buy seven more exactly the same as backups.

9. What’s your favourite way to relax?

Every time I say I’m going to relax I end up taking on more stuff. The only way I can shut my brain up is to play lame-o bubble shooting games on my phone or crochet a blanket.

10. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Here. With my husband and 100 cats. And good wifi.

No where’s my award? Does this Liebster even exist? I want to nominate some wonderful people who I LOVE but as usual Hugzilla has already stolen them all and made them her own. So I’m nominating them AGAIN anyway, because that’s how awesome they are:

Kev at Clean Up In Aisle Three

Ash at My Meow

Jo at Creature Clinic

Linking up with the beautiful Emily at Have a Laugh on Me

Xoxox